Bruce Cheney - We Miss You

Bruce Judson Cheney
Born: October 28, 1917, Morris County, New Jersey
Died: Today, July 16, 2012, Morris County, New Jersey
Relation to Author: Grandfather

Bruce Cheney, my grandfather (we called him PopPop), passed away today. I would like to share my many fond memories of him.

I think the fondest are the times we talked about baseball. I was obsessed with baseball and its history as a kid and PopPop loved to share his memories. One of my favorite old-time players was Joe Dimaggio and my dad bought me the Dimaggio Albums. So for a number of visits, PopPop and I would sit down and go through the albums and he would tell me what he remembered from each newspaper clipping.

I also remember playing baseball with him and going to games. At least once, all of us went down to the baseball field so my brother and I could practice. PopPop, my dad, and my uncle would take turns pitching to us and shagging the balls we hit.

And I remember a Mets game that he (and my uncle) took me to with my friend. It was one of the hottest days I can remember and we were close to the field (box seats) but in the sun. I was thirsty but would only drink water (which they didn't sell then). So I made him go the bathroom with me and fill a cup with water from the faucet. And of course at that moment, his favorite player at the time Kevin McReynolds, hit a home run. He wasn't so happy that he missed that. Sorry PopPop.

I also played golf with PopPop once and went bowling at least once. Both were sports PopPop enjoyed in his retirement (though I think golf frustrated him like it does me when we don't play well). I also remember a few of the times he came to watch my brother play varsity baseball. PopPop was quite a baseball player in his youth and I know he was happy and proud to see that one of his grandsons was also very good. 

PopPop and I also bonded over jazz, though very different ends of the spectrum. PopPop loved Glenn Miller, and would tell how he would tear up just from being there watching the band live. Granted, PopPop didn't connect well with the jazz I liked - the hard bop of Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Horace Silver, and others - so I mostly listened to his stories.

PopPop also liked writing letters and he wrote to me sometimes while I was away at college. I loved getting the letters, and I responded sometimes, though maybe I should have responded more often and encouraged even more letters.

All of these were great memories. But what I will really take away and remember about him was his romanticism. Maybe at times there was naivete as well. But I saw much of him in me. He really loved Nana and loved his family and was never ashamed to say so. He was a passionate and emotional person and always easy to laugh.

The last few years have been hard on all of us - none more so than the people who took care of him. Dementia hit him hard and at the end he didn't know who we were. But that wasn't the hardest part. It was much harder seeing him upset and confused - scared for some unknown reason.

As hard as that was, there is a bright spot; he did live long enough to meet his great grandchildren, even if he didn't know exactly who they were. It was something he said he really wanted a few years before his mind started to go. And when he did meet them, he had his most lucid moments. He would coo and smile at them; he would pinch their legs and kiss their cheeks. And I think that will be my last and best memory of him.

I miss you PopPop. And for the last few years, I have missed the person you were before your illness. But you are free of that now. And since you are, I will go forward and keep with me the good memories and the great times we spent together.